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Forgive Me, Readers, for I Have Sinned

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It’s been over a year since my last post.

That’s it. That’s the sin.

To be fair, I’ve written plenty of drafts. But to my shame, I haven’t actually published anything since April 2024 (aside from a recent piece on Sleepaway Camp III).

A lot has happened in the meantime:

It’s been a lot, is what I’m saying.

The result: piles of drafts, countless photos, videos, and recordings — but very little of it has made its way here (or anywhere else). Instead, I’ve been focused on living my life and staying present.

I also stepped back from social media. For over a year, I’ve kept my distance from the noise, vitriol, and chaos online. It hasn’t been total disconnection — I still keep an eye on the world — but I’ve tried to maintain healthier boundaries. It’s been good. I’ve leaned on my family and friends, and I’ve been seeking community in other spaces, trying to figure out where I fit.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself what I want to do next. What I want to be when I “grow up” — a funny question to wrestle with in your mid-40s, but maybe one worth asking at any age. Is blogging the move? Writing? Podcasting? Video essays? Watercolors? Origami?

Some of this is tied to thoughts about legacy, about mortality. Memento mori. I’ve written a lot of words, taken a lot of photos, recorded my voice in a lot of places. I’ve always felt compelled to create — not because I need an audience, but because I want to leave something behind. A marker that says: I was here.

So here I am again, back at this blog. Maybe this time I’ll find a rhythm. Maybe this time I’ll stick with it.

Or maybe this post will be followed by another long silence. Only time will tell.

Golden Hour Forest


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