An interesting aspect of posting every week and tracking the week numbers all year is I have is that simple math that tells me how many weeks remain
By my reckoning there’s now just 8 short weeks left in 2023
I started this year with such high expectations for making it an amazing year. The numbers seemed to be on my side. My love of 23. My turning 42. After the hardships of previous years and what felt like finally being on a positive trajectory, it all pointed towards this being a fantastic year.
The year has certainly not gone the way I expected. It’s too early to recap the whole year, and there have been amazing aspects to this year worth reflecting upon, but ultimately this has not at all been the year I expected when I began this weekly posting commitment.
I certainly wasn’t expecting my marriage to come apart completely, for example.
Rather than focus on the negatives and challenges, though, I want to focus on the positives.
Yes, there are a lot of things that have not gone well
It seems as though if it’s not one thing it’s another.
But there are so many good things to reflect upon, to feel good about, things for which I am grateful:
I certainly find myself in my most stable and comfortable living situation in many years. I want for very little. My family and I do not go hungry, as a matter of fact we are able to eat well. We have a comfortable place to lay our heads. There is practically nothing to complain about, just goals to work toward. This is the result of years of hardship and hard work, and I am proud to have made it to this point.
There are myriad options before me. I can practically do anything at this point. That’s a bit of a double edged sword leaving me with a bit of analysis paralysis, but I still recognize the incredible potential I have. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on what exactly I want to do when I grow up. I’m feeling very creative lately and just wanting to find the right outlet. I want to leave something behind (besides a beautiful corpse). I want to be helpful, I want to do good, do better.
I am loved. Especially in the last month I’ve come to realize just how rich I am in love. There are many people out there who care about me, who send their love and support throughout these trying times. Sending encouragement and reminding me that this, too, shall pass. Even though my marriage is not turning out how I’d expected, leaving me feeling rather lonely and unloved, I’m know that I am not alone, that I am loved indeed.
The hits keep coming, for sure. As I’ll mention I’m facing a new bill for more car trouble on top of the costs of separation and the daunting cost of my daughter’s gender affirming care. But there are many positives for which I take comfort. My health remains better than it has been since I was quite young. I am still fit and, despite requiring a great deal of self care, I’m physically fit and a healthy weight. My father, who I’d been assured was on death’s door, seems to have recovered significantly and is more lucid than he’s been in some time. I’m seeing positive opportunities in my work and volunteering. I’m making new connections locally, meeting neighbors and becoming more involved in my community. Things are, on the whole, good for me, and there’s a great deal of potential beyond.
This may not have been the year I expected and the challenges certainly not insignificant, but I think it’s still been a good year and I’m excited to see what the last two months bring.
For now, however, let me recap the week as I do.
Sunday saw me I running some errands and overall “adulting”. I ran up to Silverdale and stopped at Mud Bay with Ollie where the employees fawned over him. It’s always nice to stop in there where they really make your dog feel special. A few more stops and then home.
I did some chores around the house and caught up on some correspondence.
Overall it was a nice, quiet, little Sunday for me
On Monday I took care of some personal matters requiring a little time from work.
Monday is the day kiddos generally visit.
Tris had meant to come over but reported not feeling well perhaps having picked up something from one of the children she sits for. I suggested she stay home and recover. She agreed.
Momo still came, however, and we ended up having a nice little visit all the same. We watched the latest episode of Bob and then the movie Cobwebs.
I made a pot of veggie soup because it’s definitely turned to soup season and it’s hard not to make too much soup. It was pretty tasty though I have plenty of room for improvement on my technique. I’m planning to do better next time and I have plenty of Bob’s Red Mill in the cupboard to keep me going through the coming Winter.
Not a lot to talk about for Tuesday.
I worked, watched movies, played games, blogged a bit about the history of Halloween.
Another relatively normal day.
I did normal stuff.
I attended another wonderful Infinity RPG session with some pals and we made progress on our quest to save this planet, though it’s seeming like we might not get to see the “saberbears” as soon as we had hoped.
After work I took a hike around town. I’m working toward filling in the “moose face” of western Bremerton. As I needed to get Liz from school in the afternoon I was not able to do my usual Thursday hike.
I may need to adjust my plans around that weekly ritual as it’s seeming like we may be settling on a schedule that will make it difficult to support 5+ mile hikes everything Thursday.
After grabbing Liz from school while driving across the Manette Bridge, the engine on the Mini Cooper Countryman S suddenly, and without warning, lost power and threw an MIL. I was able to get it home, though it was a literal uphill fight to do so, and the OBD II scanner showed me three codes: multiple misfires, misfire on cylinder 1, and misfire on cylinder 3.
This was absolutely unwelcome news. Worse, the local shop I usually take my care says they can’t get me in until next Thursday! I could cry.
I did cry a little bit.
But, after borrowing Momo’s car for the evening, we were able to carry-on.
Liz attended her first school dance! It was a costumed event and hers was a wonderful costume indeed with a steampunk theme! She had a wonderful time with her friends! :)
I put up a post about Hiking Meditation that I’d been working on for a little while that explains the value I take from mindfulness on the trails. I’m pretty proud of it.
In the evening I finished my first playthrough of The Quarry and while I didn’t quite do everything “right”, I’d had a pretty good run teed up, I think, but then failed 3 QTE’s in a row ending the game in a pretty disappointing fashion. It was a little bit of a bummer but, overall, it was still a fun experience and I’m kind of eager to try to get a couple more endings.
I took Friday off as Liz had the day off from school and I wanted to spend the day with her.
Originally I had planned to take her to a local pumpkin patch for a little fun but having lost my only form of transportation those plans sort of fizzled out.
Instead we hung out together.
I started playing Alan Wake 2 — which is a gorgeous game and so far seems to be worth the wait. It’s been over 13 years since the original game came out, and that game had been teased nearly 5 years before and much anticipated. This new on looks fanastic on the RTX 4090, the PNW backdrops are superbly rendered and the attention to detail is fantastic. I’ve only made it through the prologue and first chapter and a half so far but I’m definitely loving it so far. It has some clever features (and a few goofs). I’m sure I’ll bring it up again, or it will have its own post eventually.
In the evening I took Liz to see Five Nights at Freddy’s at SeeFilm downtown. It was a blast to see though I really wish the kids in the crowd would have dialed back their enthusiasm about 40%. The movie was actually much better than I’d expected it to be, though part of that might have been the rambunctious crowd of FNAF fans. Liz, for her part, didn’t contribute too much to the raucousness but seemed to relish it. There were clearly a lot of folks that recognized the lore as much as she, and she really seemed to get a kick out of it- which is good considering she’d been waiting her “whole life” for this movie to come out. She’s long gotten deep into the lore of this game and seemed to really get a kick out of the film.
Today was, again, going to go rather differently but given my lack of automotive transportation, we’re going to approach things a little differently. Not having a car is a bit of a bummer and I’m not looking forward to how much it’s going to cost to repair the thing.
Liz and I took a walk downtown and had a lovely time. We stopped at Ballast, I got her coffee from Cups, and we ended up at the new Market at Marina Square with Liz hoping for their fresh mini-doughnuts but, alas, they weren’t making them today.
We spent a little time at the Harborside Park watching the boats and enjoying the beautiful sunshine. Then we stopped at the coop on our way home and grabbed some chili and potatoes.
We hung out a bit, and then I turned some potatoes into little planks and put them in the convection oven to make, what turned out to be, a tasty batch of fries. We slathered these in chili to make chili fries and watched yet another horror movie.
I’m feeling really happy that I live in a walkable area, that despite not having a car I am not trapped in the house unable to do anything. I may also have to try out the local bus routes. I’ve had a fine enough experience with the Kitsap Transit ferry system going to Seattle and Port Orchard- though I still wish they’d create a route between Bainbridge Island and Bremerton as that would be amazing. For me, not so much for the residents of Bainbridge Island, I suppose.
Lou picked up Liz and I’m left alone with Ollie again, who has been such a good boy today. I did a little tidying and now I’m settling in on the thought of what I’ll do with the rest of my evening.
I think I’m likely to spend a little more time with Saga Anderson in Alan Wake 2 - which is so beautifully rendered that I feel almost like I don’t need to walk out my front door to see the beauty of the Pacific Northwest, it’s all there for me to enjoy in Remedy’s game.
Of course they can’t really compete with the incredible beauty and contrast of the snow that’s now capping the Olympics that I noticed this week. It’s absolutely gorgeous.
Another 7 days have come and gone
A mere 8 weeks remain in 2023
It’s been hard but I’m immensely grateful, hopeful
Here’s to the next week to come - see you next time
P.S. this week in horror:
- Terrifier 2
- Drag Me to Hell
- Disco Inferno (Short)
- The Black Phone
- Curse of Crom: The Legend of Halloween
- Night of the Living Dead
- Tales of Halloween
- Five Nights at Freddy’s
- Hotel Transylvania
- The Nun
- The Nun II